Monday, November 3, 2008


I've always thought that the Twinkie would be the absolutely perfect food if it was only 1/3 smaller. Aside from the fact that it's just way to filling in it's current size, it's also just not easily transportable. Every day when I see the parade of sad children pulling a Coleman cooler as a lunch box just so that they can have a Twinkie for desert, I'm saddened. I'm actually surprised Andy Rooney hasn't gotten on this issue yet, but there is rampant speculation that he's been paid hush money from "Big Twinkie" just to keep the status quo on the issue.

In a shout out to over-sized middle America, or Joe the pre-diabetic, as that voting block prefers to be known as, Twinkies will now be avaiable in a 100 calorie version.

I'll give that a moment to sink in. There are probably a lot of people trying to catch their breath from scrolling so fast.

According to David Leavitt, vice president of snack marketing at Hostess:

...people asked for a lightened version and the company got to work. They didn't want to just shrink the Twinkie, known for its elongated shape, Leavitt said, so they created three, miniature round versions. Leavitt said people enjoy having multiple bites rather than just the one product...

So you just ask Hostess to do something and they "get to work." God bless them. Appratently, though, they won't kill for you. So stop asking them. And who doesn't enjoy multiple bites when they're eating something? Isn't that the logic behind the 72-ounce steak they offer throughout Texas? Or the Toblerone?

I just think it's great. Finally a Twinkie we can all enjoy. And now that we've conquered diabetes, especially in kids, we can all eat a Twinkie without any guilt. Heck, since you love multiple bites so much, have three or four.

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