Prescription to bust a cap

I've always felt adamant about two things: Old people with deteriorating health should have guns and the government should pay for them.

The people at Constitution Arms in Maplewood, NJ have listened and come out with the Palm Pistol, which they hoped to have approved as a medical device. It's a great addition for the gun-loving senior on your shopping list who might not have the dexterity to use a Glock or Tec-9.

"It's something that they need to assist them in daily living," says Matthew Carmel, president of Constitution Arms.

"The justification for this would be no more or less for a [walking aid] or wheelchair, or any number of things that are medical devices," he says. "It is also ideal for seniors, disabled or others who may have limited strength or manual dexterity. Using the thumb instead of the index finger for firing, it significantly reduces muzzle drift, one of the principal causes of inaccurate targeting. Point and shoot couldn't be easier."

This opens up a whole new can of worms for Medicare-grade weapons. Maybe Wilford Brimley can start hawking brass knuckles or samurai swords. I hope he does it on horseback.

Unfortunately, those crazies down at the FDA didn't quite agree with Matt Carmel and said that the Palm Pistol wasn't a medical device. Hopefully this will only be a minor bump in the road to implementing a full-on Guns for Geezers program throughout Palm Beach during the holiday season.