Monday, April 20, 2009
You might remember Toby from a prior post, Jones Big Ass Truck Rental & Storage.
Now he's got a new business venture; Jones Good Ass BBQ & Foot Massage, where he'll fry parts of a chicken you didn't even know were fryable.
You can still give him a call or find him on "them world-wide internets."
I'm going to go on down there and get a slice of some dinosaur.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Arrested Development- Chicken Dance
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
I don't hunt, but if I did, I'm pretty sure I would only hunt Velociraptors. Fortunately, I don't have to go through the whole process of getting a permit, hiring a tracker, hiding in the woods, masking my scent with Raptor Musk (which stings the nostrils worse than Sex Panther), engaging in a life-and-death battle, cleaning my kill and mounting it's head on my wall.
For only $521 (as of 9pm Wednesday) I can streamline the whole process and get this full-size raptor head on ebay. I don't really know how it was acquired but apparently it was killed legally in Jurassic Park.
Friday, March 20, 2009
They are always looking for submissions, so if you come across a picture where the only possible reaction is WTF?, then by all means email it to them.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
When it comes to sports, we're in pretty good shape. Do a quick Google Search for Turkish Sports Legends and you won't find too much (unless you consider arm wrestling a sport)
So needless to say, I was pretty excited to see this graph ranking the public acceptance of evolution in 35 countries and the only country we beat was Turkey.
Look out Cyprus...we're coming after you next!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
I remember watching The Empire Strikes Back as a child and wondering what kind of pets AT-ATs would be.
Monday, March 2, 2009
15-year-old McKay Hatch of Pasadena thought he was on to such a good thing when he started the No Cussing Club at his high school that he's now taking it up a notch. He successfully lobbied the LA County Board of Supervisors to issue a proclamation officially making the first week in March No Cussing Week.
So if you see someone wearing on of the No Cussing Club's gaudy orange t-shirts or carrying one of their How Many Hugs Do You Need cards in their wallets, be sure not to ask them how much they spent on that f#@%*n c#*p.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
I guess it's a commercial for pizza, but I'm not entirely sure. After watching it I had the same reaction as Homer Simpson after he watched the Mr. Sparkle commercial.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Can you imagine the anticipation that must grip this guy waiting for them to play the one song that he's worked so hard to bust a routine to?
The Joe The Blogger Investigation Unit has been hard at work trying to find out some details about the dancer. JTBIU has found out that his name is Jeremy Fry, and has a serious thing for Bon Jovi and attention from crowds.
Personally, I'd avoid inviting him to your next karaoke jam or 80s party.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
It's a chicken, inside of a duck, inside of a turkey, with the whole thing wrapped in bacon. This is just one of the many disturbing, yet somewhat appetizing dishes featured on thisiswhyyourefat.com.
Looking at some of these things is like looking at a deep-fried chocolate-coated train wreck. It's awful and disturbing, yet impossible to look away.
This one might be my favorite, it's a McNuggetini: A McDonald’s chocolate milkshake with vanilla vodka, rimmed with BBQ sauce and garnished with a chicken McNugget.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Apparently to scientists in India, nothing.
In a country that has boycotted Coke and Pepsi since 1984, their new take on a refreshing summer beverage involves moving forward with a drink made from cow urine and herbs.
"Don't worry, it won't smell like urine and will be tasty too," said project leader Om Prakash. "It's going to be very healthy. It won't be like carbonated drinks and would be devoid of any toxins."
I'm glad their addressing this, because if there's one single drawback to urine-based drinks, it's got to be the smell.
Somewhere, executives from Sunny D (formerly known as Sunny Delight) must be thrilled to know that somebody has finally made something more disgusting than the swill they've been pushing on kids for years.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Those poles can really sneak up on you.
Apparently not everyone realized this was a prank, including a few clueless motorists.
"It's kind of crazy. I'm totally confused," said one motorist. "I'm kind of expecting … dinosaurs to run down the road, or something."
Another puzzled motorist said, "Which raptors?" before adding that he hadn't seen the sign.
This comes less than a week after someone hacked into electronic road signs in Texas to warn about Zombies.I'm certainly not endorsing the practice of hacking into road signs, but I think an award should be given for the most creative hacked sign.
Friday, January 9, 2009
I would sell all my friends to Chinese organ thieves for a lifetime supply of In-N-Out Burgers, but I've already sent them cards letting them know that.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
This kind of reminds me of those public access shows that used to be on local cable. I used to love how people would call up just to swear at the guys on Jets Roundtable.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
It's hard to believe, but it's almost time for this year's No Pants Subway Ride. The event, put on by Improv Everywhere, has grown since 2002 from seven participants to almost 1,000 last year. It's also expanded across the country to cities like Boston, Baltimore, Chicago, San Francisco (surprise) and Washington D.C.
This year's event is taking place on January 10, and you can see all of the details here. There are surprising lengthy instructions, including what you should do once you board the trains:
Sit in the car as you normally would. Read a magazine or whatever you would normally do. Your team leader will have already divided you into smaller groups, assigning your group a specific stop where you will depants. Sit near your group.
As soon as the doors shut at the stop before yours, stand up and take your pants off and put them in your backpack. If you’d like to use a briefcase, purse, grocery bag, or whatever instead of a backpack that’s fine too. You are responsible for your own pants and they should be with you at all times. If anyone asks you why you’ve removed your pants, tell them that they were “getting uncomfortable” (or something along those lines.)
If you are planning on participating....best of luck. Try not to catch Syphilus.
Monday, January 5, 2009
The problem I have with the note is not that he was having a party and didn't invite me, it was that he selected a vibrant background of balloons, effectively stating that his party was going to be vibrant and possibly have balloons and that I couldn't come.
If I was writing a note to my neighbours saying that I was going to have a party but none of them could come, I would not add photos of ecstasy tablets, beer and gratuitous shots of Lucius going down on men to show them what they are missing out on, I would make it clean and simple, possibly even sombre, so they didn't think 'you prick'.
So he initiated another hilarious chain of emails with his neighbor, which you can read here.
One of the highlights is him asking to borrow his neighbor's car and mentioned that he will be bringing along his "quite violent" friend Simon, commenting that "sometimes I am afraid to even be in the same room as him."
As his new neighbor – whose name is given as Matthew Smythe – became increasingly confused and irate, Mr Thorne then announced his new plan to come as a "ninja", making his arrival through a window.
"I think it would be really good if you dressed as a ninja as well and we could perform a martial arts display for the other guests. I have real swords and will bring them," he wrote.
"If you need help with your costume let me know, I have made mine by wrapping a black T-shirt around my face with a hooded jacket and cut finger holes in black socks for the gloves. I do not have any black pants so will spray paint my legs on the night."
Mr Smythe responded: "You are not coming to my house warming and you are not bringing any of your friends. What the ---- is wrong with you???"