tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47451415244137896632024-03-21T09:19:25.041-04:00Joe the BloggerJoe The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09398977419698743797noreply@blogger.comBlogger73125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4745141524413789663.post-57044706246391839362009-04-20T14:57:00.004-04:002009-04-20T15:06:47.767-04:00Toby Jones is BackAs much as I think Billy Mays might be the ultimate pitchman, Toby Jones is certainly giving him a run for his money.<br /><br />You might remember Toby from a prior post, <a href="http://whoisjoetheblogger.blogspot.com/2008/12/jones-big-ass-truck-rental-and-storage.html">Jones Big Ass Truck Rental & Storage.</a><br /><br />Now he's got a new business venture; Jones Good Ass BBQ & Foot Massage, where he'll fry parts of a chicken you didn't even know were fryable.<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/WPkMUU9tUqk&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/WPkMUU9tUqk&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br />You can still give him a call or find him on "them world-wide internets."<br /><br />I'm going to go on down there and get a slice of some dinosaur.Joe The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09398977419698743797noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4745141524413789663.post-85376875287548446792009-04-03T16:13:00.004-04:002009-04-03T16:20:02.383-04:00Megan Joy: Bad singer, worse chickenIn honor of Megan Joy's <a href="http://video.yahoo.com/watch/4791043/12789488">ca-cawing departure </a>from American Idol this week. I thought you'd enjoy this montage from Arrested Development of various interpretations of a chicken.<br /><br /><a href="http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=46997687">Arrested Development- Chicken Dance</a><br /><object height="360" width="425"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="movie" value="http://mediaservices.myspace.com/services/media/embed.aspx/m=46997687,t=1,mt=video"><embed src="http://mediaservices.myspace.com/services/media/embed.aspx/m=46997687,t=1,mt=video" width="425" height="360" allowfullscreen="true" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object>Joe The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09398977419698743797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4745141524413789663.post-60249124888522697722009-03-25T20:53:00.008-04:002009-03-25T21:16:56.823-04:00How to impress people with your dinosaur killing skills<img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5317293253716247602" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_6tCrU44dMXs/ScrSCsJWhDI/AAAAAAAAAJc/n9aim4IOP9Q/s400/raptor+head.jpg" border="0" /><br />I don't hunt, but if I did, I'm pretty sure I would only hunt Velociraptors. Fortunately, I don't have to go through the whole process of getting a permit, hiring a tracker, hiding in the woods, masking my scent with Raptor Musk (which stings the nostrils worse than Sex Panther), engaging in a life-and-death battle, cleaning my kill and mounting it's head on my wall.<br /><br />For only $521 (as of 9pm Wednesday) I can streamline the whole process and <a href="http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=260382416035">get this full-size raptor head on ebay.</a> I don't really know how it was acquired but apparently it was killed legally in Jurassic Park.<br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5317296960998000642" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_6tCrU44dMXs/ScrVae2MyAI/AAAAAAAAAJk/wC1ZBhyHZaE/s400/9240_12.jpg" border="0" />Joe The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09398977419698743797noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4745141524413789663.post-21280728832794135742009-03-20T13:23:00.005-04:002009-03-20T13:33:18.402-04:00Worth a thousand wordsSometimes we just need to look at a picture that is so far from making sense in order to make sense of our own lives. With that, I give you my new favorite site: <a href="http://pictureisunrelated.com/">Picture is Unrelated,</a> where you can find gems like the ones below. The fact that there's no context for any of the pictures on the site makes it that much better. <div><br /><div></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5315323017451762274" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 283px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_6tCrU44dMXs/ScPSH2GrcmI/AAAAAAAAAJE/nLUu_EQHimI/s400/wtf_pics-vader-water-filter.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5315323107057399874" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_6tCrU44dMXs/ScPSND6U-EI/AAAAAAAAAJM/sedy49_6WYk/s400/wtf_pics-lobster-knife-figh.jpg" border="0" /></div></div><br />They are always looking for submissions, so if you come across a picture where the only possible reaction is WTF?, then by all means <a href="mailto:picisunrelated@gmail.com">email </a>it to them.Joe The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09398977419698743797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4745141524413789663.post-52643478444571531982009-03-17T15:03:00.002-04:002009-03-17T15:05:41.136-04:00Best bowling shot everYou've got to watch this amazing bowling shot. I'm not sure what the announcers are saying, but they're obviously impressed as well,<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/16_Q5CFhbJg&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/16_Q5CFhbJg&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Joe The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09398977419698743797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4745141524413789663.post-59026022687272984692009-03-13T20:33:00.003-04:002009-03-13T20:49:34.476-04:00We dig evolution...more than TurkeyI think that, as Americans, we should pick one country and try to be better than them at everything we do. For me, that country is Turkey.<br /><br />When it comes to sports, we're in pretty good shape. Do a quick Google Search for Turkish Sports Legends and you won't find too much <a href="http://www.turks.us/article.php?story=20080501105545120">(unless you consider arm wrestling a sport)</a><br /><br />So needless to say, I was pretty excited to see <a href="http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/bigphotos/21329204.html">this graph </a>ranking the public acceptance of evolution in 35 countries and the only country we beat was Turkey.<br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5312838006145173362" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 298px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 411px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_6tCrU44dMXs/Sbr-BJl6R3I/AAAAAAAAAI8/kJIC7gRHOL0/s400/acceptance-of-evolution-by-country-17573-1236974861-5.jpg" border="0" /><br />Look out Cyprus...we're coming after you next!Joe The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09398977419698743797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4745141524413789663.post-10055923914361377322009-03-10T11:44:00.005-04:002009-03-10T12:06:50.027-04:00Man's New Best Friend<img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5311585685597002802" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 266px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_6tCrU44dMXs/SbaLCgAPHDI/AAAAAAAAAIk/cf2b68NJpFw/s400/AT+AT1.jpg" border="0" /><br />I remember watching The Empire Strikes Back as a child and wondering what kind of pets AT-ATs would be. <br /><br /><div> </div><div>Thanks to these great photos from <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/nickisconfused/sets/72157611113065419/">NickIsConfused </a>we can see how precious the little guys are. Some days I wish I had an AT-AT, if for no other reason than to silence those yapping terriers that walk by my window every morning.<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5311585830587237074" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 266px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_6tCrU44dMXs/SbaLK8ImgtI/AAAAAAAAAI0/5M2jcPlCxdA/s400/AT+AT3.jpg" border="0" /><br /><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5311585760573085986" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 266px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_6tCrU44dMXs/SbaLG3T7WSI/AAAAAAAAAIs/d412iKZ4DRw/s400/AT+AT2.jpg" border="0" /></div></div>Joe The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09398977419698743797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4745141524413789663.post-80308646417131073912009-03-02T09:12:00.006-05:002009-03-02T09:35:54.634-05:00This definitely wouldn't work in Jersey<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_6tCrU44dMXs/SavsL2mzFJI/AAAAAAAAAIc/Jm9-BsGbH6Q/s1600-h/926_New_T-Shirt.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5308596274167223442" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_6tCrU44dMXs/SavsL2mzFJI/AAAAAAAAAIc/Jm9-BsGbH6Q/s320/926_New_T-Shirt.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div>Along with the right to carry guns in public, I feel like it's our right as Americans to swear in public. However, there's a movement afoot to keep those of us who like to impress their friends with their spot-on <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJUcqW21VBQ&feature=related">Gordon Ramsey</a> impersonation down.<br /><br />15-year-old McKay Hatch of Pasadena thought he was on to such a good thing when he started the <a href="http://www.nocussing.com/">No Cussing Club </a>at his high school that he's now taking it up a notch. He successfully lobbied the LA County Board of Supervisors to issue a proclamation <a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090302/ap_on_fe_st/odd_no_cussing;_ylt=Ars0mRrMJnbjMS.0qd9h6xjtiBIF">officially making the first week in March No Cussing Week.</a><br /><br />So if you see someone wearing on of the No Cussing Club's gaudy orange t-shirts or carrying one of their <em>How Many Hugs Do You Need</em> cards in their wallets, be sure not to ask them how much they spent on that f#@%*n c#*p.</div>Joe The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09398977419698743797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4745141524413789663.post-47451672963784321922009-02-24T09:44:00.002-05:002009-02-24T09:51:14.561-05:00I think I want pizza...So it's been a while since I've posted any bizarre Japanese videos, but this one just seemed to good to pass up.<br /><br />I guess it's a commercial for pizza, but I'm not entirely sure. After watching it I had the same reaction as Homer Simpson after he watched the <a href="http://www.liquidmatrix.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/mrsparkleorig.jpg">Mr. Sparkle </a>commercial.<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/a6tSyDHXViM&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/a6tSyDHXViM&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Joe The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09398977419698743797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4745141524413789663.post-2702912997306563162009-02-20T12:44:00.008-05:002009-02-20T12:59:23.521-05:00Please let them play Bon Jovi tonight...It's only February, but I think we've found an early favorite for this year's best viral video. Check out this Celtics fan dancing to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Livin</span>' on a Prayer.<br /><br /><object height="440" width="504"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><param name="allownetworking" value="all"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="quality" value="high"><param name="flashvars" value="stretching=exactfit&autostart=false&backcolor=00844A&frontcolor=FFFFFF&lightcolor=FFFFFF&enablejs=true&volume=100&logo=http://www.fandome.com/img/watermark.png&image=http://s3.amazonaws.com/lazyimgbig/109548_1.jpg&link=http://celtics.fandome.com/video/109548/Amazing-Dance-Caught-On-The-Jumbotron/&linktarget=_blank&linkfromdisplay=true&plugins=yourlytics-1,quickkeys-1,googlytics-1,viral-1&yourlytics.callback=http://www.fandome.com/ajax/updateViews.php?vid=109548&viral.onpause=false&file=http://s3.amazonaws.com/lazyjock/109548.flv"><param name="src" value="http://www.fandome.com/flashplayer/sportsbox.swf"><embed src="http://www.fandome.com/flashplayer/sportsbox.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" id="videoId" name="videoId" allowscriptaccess="always" allownetworking="all" quality="high" allowfullscreen="true" wmode ="transparent" width="504" height="440" flashvars="stretching=exactfit&autostart=false&backcolor=00844A&frontcolor=FFFFFF&lightcolor=FFFFFF&enablejs=true&volume=100&logo=http://www.fandome.com/img/watermark.png&image=http://s3.amazonaws.com/lazyimgbig/109548_1.jpg&link=http://celtics.fandome.com/video/109548/Amazing-Dance-Caught-On-The-Jumbotron/&linktarget=_blank&linkfromdisplay=true&plugins=yourlytics-1,quickkeys-1,googlytics-1,viral-1&yourlytics.callback=http://www.fandome.com/ajax/updateViews.php?vid=109548&viral.onpause=false&file=http://s3.amazonaws.com/lazyjock/109548.flv"></embed></object><br /><a title="Sports Videos, News, Blogs" href="http://www.fandome.com/"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: medium none; BORDER-TOP: medium none; BORDER-LEFT: medium none; BORDER-BOTTOM: medium none" alt="Sports Videos, News, Blogs" src="http://www.fandome.com/img/poweredBy.png" /></a><br /><br /><br />Can you imagine the anticipation that must grip this guy waiting for them to play the one song that he's worked so hard to bust a routine to? <br /><br />The Joe The Blogger Investigation Unit has been hard at work trying to find out some details about the dancer. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">JTBIU</span> has found out that his name is Jeremy Fry, and has a serious thing for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Bon</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Jovi</span> and attention from crowds.<br /><br />Personally, I'd avoid inviting him to your next karaoke jam or 80s party.Joe The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09398977419698743797noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4745141524413789663.post-53330520248760034252009-02-17T14:44:00.008-05:002009-02-17T14:53:50.775-05:00How many calories are in a Turbaconuken?More importantly, what is a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Turbaconuken</span>?<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5303855756877841746" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 266px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_6tCrU44dMXs/SZsUtbidRVI/AAAAAAAAAIM/dd0yxtYXUf8/s400/turbaconcken.jpg" border="0" /><br />It's a chicken, inside of a duck, inside of a turkey, with the whole thing wrapped in bacon. This is just one of the many disturbing, yet somewhat appetizing dishes featured on <a href="http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">thisiswhyyourefat</span>.com.</a><br /><br />Looking at some of these things is like looking at a deep-fried chocolate-coated train wreck. It's awful and disturbing, yet impossible to look away.<br /><br />This one might be my favorite, it's a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">McNuggetini</span>: A McDonald’s chocolate milkshake with vanilla vodka, rimmed with BBQ sauce and garnished with a chicken <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">McNugget</span>.<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5303856403113048386" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 267px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_6tCrU44dMXs/SZsVTC87-UI/AAAAAAAAAIU/1CSYdEQKwnY/s400/mcnuggetini.jpg" border="0" />Joe The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09398977419698743797noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4745141524413789663.post-43308371035917894782009-02-12T10:05:00.004-05:002009-02-12T10:15:03.469-05:00What's more refreshing than cow urine?<img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5301928496526530386" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_6tCrU44dMXs/SZQ74HP8F1I/AAAAAAAAAIE/vElzlaGFcHQ/s320/cow+urine.bmp" border="0" /><br />Apparently to scientists in India, nothing.<br /><br />In a country that has boycotted Coke and Pepsi since 1984, their new take on a refreshing summer beverage involves moving forward with a drink made from cow urine and herbs.<br /><br /><em>"Don't worry, it won't smell like urine and will be tasty too," said project leader Om Prakash. "It's going to be very healthy. It won't be like carbonated drinks and would be devoid of any toxins."</em><br /><br />I'm glad their addressing this, because if there's one single drawback to urine-based drinks, it's got to be the smell.<br /><br />Somewhere, executives from Sunny D (formerly known as Sunny Delight) must be thrilled to know that somebody has finally made something more disgusting than the swill they've been pushing on kids for years.Joe The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09398977419698743797noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4745141524413789663.post-77487528461295716402009-02-03T17:25:00.000-05:002009-02-03T17:25:00.887-05:00The not-so great escapeSo say you're a prisoner looking to make a quick escape, but you're chained to another guy. I think the one thing you really need to coordinate is how you're going to avoid lamp posts. Needless to say, these two hapless New Zealand cons did not.<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/L3SwaOAW3BE&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/L3SwaOAW3BE&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />Those poles can really sneak up on you.Joe The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09398977419698743797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4745141524413789663.post-14092615874120297072009-02-03T12:41:00.006-05:002009-02-03T13:40:34.912-05:00Caution: Raptors ahead<div><div>First off, I apologize for the lack of posts over the past month. Between vacation, the snow, <a href="http://uk.reuters.com/article/burningIssues/idUKTRE5120OZ20090203">earthquakes</a> and my real job it's been tough. But I'm back and I promise to post more regularly.</div><div></div><br /><div>So my favorite new trend is people hacking into electronic road signs. The latest incident came this week in Indiana, where someone changed an electronic road sign to read: Raptors Ahead: Caution.<img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5298628656818442562" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_6tCrU44dMXs/SYiCsKZeUUI/AAAAAAAAAH0/Bs4yA8NmQks/s400/Raptors.jpg" border="0" /></div></div><p></p><p>Apparently not everyone realized this was a prank, including a few clueless motorists.</p><p><em>"It's kind of crazy. I'm totally confused," said one motorist. "I'm kind of expecting … dinosaurs to run down the road, or something."<br />Another puzzled motorist said, "Which raptors?" before adding that he hadn't seen the sign.</em></p><p>This comes less than a week after someone hacked into electronic road signs in Texas to warn about Zombies.</p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5298629062888888674" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 240px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 180px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_6tCrU44dMXs/SYiDDzINmWI/AAAAAAAAAH8/IHLZhAAjC1U/s400/zombies.jpg" border="0" />I'm certainly not endorsing the practice of hacking into road signs, but I think an award should be given for the most creative hacked sign.Joe The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09398977419698743797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4745141524413789663.post-20285074225438867062009-01-09T13:43:00.006-05:002009-01-09T13:57:11.211-05:00Are your Facebook friends really worth a Whopper?So Burger King is asking a tough question. <div><br /><div>Which would you rather have, your Facebook friends or a free Whopper?<br /><br /></div><div></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5289369078510263522" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 190px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_6tCrU44dMXs/SWedJxKKHOI/AAAAAAAAAHk/aG-oEQSiKYU/s400/whopper-sacrifice.jpg" border="0" /><br /><div>With their new <a href="http://www.whoppersacrifice.com/">Whopper Sacrifice</a> app, all you have to do is delete 10 of your friends from Facebook and you get a free Whopper. Unfortunately it only works once, but the hilarity that's sure to ensue when you told them you deleted them just to get a Whopper will be well worth it. </div><div></div><div><br />I would sell all my friends to Chinese organ thieves for a lifetime supply of In-N-Out Burgers, but I've already sent them cards letting them know that.</div></div>Joe The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09398977419698743797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4745141524413789663.post-10116910835741101902009-01-08T14:36:00.000-05:002009-01-08T14:36:00.661-05:00Old People NewsIt's news for old people by old people. I never knew peroxide had so many uses.<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/9gP_8EGWkhk&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/9gP_8EGWkhk&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />This kind of reminds me of those public access shows that used to be on local cable. I used to love how people would call up just to swear at the guys on Jets <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Roundtable</span>.Joe The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09398977419698743797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4745141524413789663.post-50684388649219315662009-01-08T09:26:00.004-05:002009-01-08T09:35:24.334-05:00The practical and fun Japanese jetpackFound this great video from Japan of a guy trying out a water-powered <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">jetpack</span>. There's not much scientific value to it, but it's still fun to watch a guy get tossed 100 feet into a lake.<br /><br /><object height="349" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/sK01QH2A0HA&rel=0&border=1&color1=0x5d1719&color2=0xcd311b&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><br /><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/sK01QH2A0HA&rel=0&border=1&color1=0x5d1719&color2=0xcd311b&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="349"></embed></object>Joe The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09398977419698743797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4745141524413789663.post-25315725871007789752009-01-07T14:35:00.000-05:002009-01-07T14:33:18.579-05:00Ridin' that train...What better way to spend a cold Saturday in New York City than by riding the subways sans-pants.<img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5286776138344494994" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 213px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_6tCrU44dMXs/SV5m4yUI95I/AAAAAAAAAHM/NrZ22v8tlFE/s320/nopants7_17.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br />It's hard to believe, but it's almost time for this year's No Pants Subway Ride. The event, put on by <a href="http://improveverywhere.com/">Improv Everywhere</a>, has grown since 2002 from seven participants to almost 1,000 last year. It's also expanded across the country to cities like Boston, Baltimore, Chicago, San Francisco (surprise) and Washington D.C.<br /><br />This year's event is taking place on January 10, and you can see all of the details <a href="http://improveverywhere.com/2008/12/29/no-pants-2k9-details-for-nyc/">here.</a> There are surprising lengthy instructions, including what you should do once you board the trains:<br /><br /><em>Sit in the car as you normally would. Read a magazine or whatever you would normally do. Your team leader will have already divided you into smaller groups, assigning your group a specific stop where you will depants. Sit near your group.<br /></em><br /><em>As soon as the doors shut at the stop before yours, stand up and take your pants off and put them in your backpack. If you’d like to use a briefcase, purse, grocery bag, or whatever instead of a backpack that’s fine too. You are responsible for your own pants and they should be with you at all times. If anyone asks you why you’ve removed your pants, tell them that they were “getting uncomfortable” (or something along those lines.)</em><br /><br />If you are planning on participating....best of luck. Try not to catch Syphilus.Joe The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09398977419698743797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4745141524413789663.post-9063684924433996002009-01-05T12:51:00.006-05:002009-01-05T13:10:52.464-05:00You are not invited to my partyDavid Thorne, famous for the <a href="http://whoisjoetheblogger.blogspot.com/2008/11/in-lieu-of-payment-please-accept-this.html"><em>in lieu of payment, please accept this spider</em></a> emails I wrote about in November is at it again. He received the note below in his mailbox regarding a party that his neighbor was having, but apparently was not invited.<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5287870028633582338" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 430px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 299px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_6tCrU44dMXs/SWJJxlMjqwI/AAAAAAAAAHU/nzbvobJfLL8/s400/party.jpg" border="0" /><br /><em>The problem I have with the note is not that he was having a party and didn't invite me, it was that he selected a vibrant background of balloons, effectively stating that his party was going to be vibrant and possibly have balloons and that I couldn't come.</em><br /><br /><em>If I was writing a note to my neighbours saying that I was going to have a party but none of them could come, I would not add photos of ecstasy tablets, beer and gratuitous shots of Lucius going down on men to show them what they are missing out on, I would make it clean and simple, possibly even sombre, so they didn't think 'you prick'.</em><br /><em></em><br />So he initiated another hilarious chain of emails with his neighbor, which you can read <a href="http://www.27bslash6.com/matthewsparty.html">here.</a><br /><br />One of the highlights is him asking to borrow his neighbor's car and mentioned that he will be bringing along his "quite violent" friend Simon, commenting that "sometimes I am afraid to even be in the same room as him."<br /><br />As his new neighbor – whose name is given as Matthew Smythe – became increasingly confused and irate, Mr Thorne then announced his new plan to come as a "ninja", making his arrival through a window.<br /><br />"I think it would be really good if you dressed as a ninja as well and we could perform a martial arts display for the other guests. I have real swords and will bring them," he wrote.<br /><br />"If you need help with your costume let me know, I have made mine by wrapping a black T-shirt around my face with a hooded jacket and cut finger holes in black socks for the gloves. I do not have any black pants so will spray paint my legs on the night."<br /><br />Mr Smythe responded: "You are not coming to my house warming and you are not bringing any of your friends. What the ---- is wrong with you???"Joe The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09398977419698743797noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4745141524413789663.post-8341384316984129282008-12-30T13:03:00.004-05:002008-12-30T13:15:20.355-05:00Green power goes rodent<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_6tCrU44dMXs/SVpkYQpmi9I/AAAAAAAAAHE/YnxH8QPH9PQ/s1600-h/hamster-paper-shre_1213170f.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5285647480621796306" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 214px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_6tCrU44dMXs/SVpkYQpmi9I/AAAAAAAAAHE/YnxH8QPH9PQ/s320/hamster-paper-shre_1213170f.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div>If you love your hamster, but hate identity theft, then have I got the gadget for you. A London-based designer has designed a paper shredder that's powered solely by a hamster. I'll let that sink in for a second.</div><br /><div></div><div><em>"I wanted to come up with a product that would capture people's imagination while addressing issues of topical concern such as climate change, recycling and identity fraud.</em></div><div><br /><em>"The hamster shredder provides a solution to all of these things because it relies on the hamster to generate power, destroys confidential documents and turns paper into bedding.</em></div><div><br /><em>"Owners can put their paper in the top before they go to bed and wake up to find the hamster has been on its wheel and shredded the paper in the process.</em></div><div><br /><em>"The hamster just has to go about its normal life."</em></div><div></div><br /><div>I guess they don't have Office Depot or Staples in London. . . or hamsters that lead normal lives. <div></div><br />It takes about 45 minutes for the hamster to shred each piece of paper, so if the feds are kicking in your door and you need to destroy a lot of documents in a hurry, this might not be the best option for you.</div>Joe The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09398977419698743797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4745141524413789663.post-20487186134386138002008-12-30T12:57:00.005-05:002008-12-30T13:19:03.646-05:00Best vacation photo everSo here's me in front of some historic scaffolding and a guy who apparently can't ride a bike....<br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_6tCrU44dMXs/SVphJ9IitjI/AAAAAAAAAG8/dIe8r78qGCU/s1600-h/best-vacation-snap-ever.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5285643936329807410" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 391px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 315px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_6tCrU44dMXs/SVphJ9IitjI/AAAAAAAAAG8/dIe8r78qGCU/s400/best-vacation-snap-ever.jpg" border="0" /></a> Wish you were here.<br /><br />H/T: <a href="http://www.inquisitr.com/">The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Inquisitr</span></a><br /><div></div>Joe The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09398977419698743797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4745141524413789663.post-9446758278732302552008-12-29T13:47:00.003-05:002008-12-29T13:54:54.281-05:00When sledding goes very wrongWhat's amazing is how this reporter just watches as he's about to get hit and doesn't move out of the way. But give him credit for almost nailing the landing.<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/zW-MznOOAas&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/zW-MznOOAas&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Joe The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09398977419698743797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4745141524413789663.post-82741129912595353212008-12-27T11:35:00.008-05:002008-12-27T12:14:48.419-05:00For the Vampire hunter on the goI had a really difficult time this year shopping for the travelling vampire hunters in my family.<br /><br />Getting holy water is no problem (I have a hook-up), and scoring garlic is easy enough. Quick tip - even though peeling garlic can be a pain, you've got to use it because minced garlic does not work at all.<br /><br />But now, for less than the price of the price of a ticket to see Jewel you can get a <a href="http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&item=330296263771">full Vampire killing kit on eBay.</a><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5284510894809665618" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_6tCrU44dMXs/SVZaqQjP0FI/AAAAAAAAAG0/IVj4lkYKLj0/s320/vampire+kit.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><em>The crucifix is from Paris, as stamped on the back of it, and it is obviously old. The Box also appears very old. The vials are brass, and contain Holy Water in the one with the copper tag with the "H" stamped on it, and the other vial has "G"stamped on it for garlic. The vial corks are sealed in red wax. A small wooden stake completes the set. A "V" is stamped on the copper plate on top for "Vampire". The parts, crucifix, wood box, screws, and metals used are old and tarnished, and most parts of the set are vintage.</em><br /><br />But move quick, the auction ends on Monday. As of this morning the bid was up to $61, and, according to the seller's comments, is guaranteed to kill Vampires. And for you irony fans, the seller is located in Surprise, AZ.Joe The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09398977419698743797noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4745141524413789663.post-91848789642502483362008-12-24T09:30:00.004-05:002008-12-24T09:36:15.125-05:00Take a look inside...Happy Holidays to the entire Joe The Blogger army. I'm sure I'll be posting sporadically over the next few days, but I wanted to share a Christmas classic to enjoy with the whole family.<br /><br /><br /><object width="464" height="376"><param name="movie" value="http://embed.break.com/MTk3NTMx"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://embed.break.com/MTk3NTMx" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowScriptAccess=always width="464" height="376"></embed></object><br><font size=1><a href="http://www.break.com/index/snl_a_special_christmas_box.html">SNL A Special Christmas Box</a> - Watch more <a href="http://www.break.com/">free videos</a></font><br /><br />Best wishes and be safe....especially in New Jersey where the swamps have turned to sheet ice.Joe The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09398977419698743797noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4745141524413789663.post-81216192136834949702008-12-23T09:59:00.007-05:002008-12-23T10:28:15.333-05:00Lock and load for ChristmasQuestion: How do you combine the warm sentiments of Christmas with the unabashed recklessness of firearms?<br /><br />Answer: The Christmas Cannon of course.<br /><br />Lets face it, decorating takes way too much time and there's far too little gunplay. But now thanks to this handy pneumatic cannon, you can blast Christmas spirit wherever you need to in a split second. Just jam tinsel, confetti, snow or 3 pounds of ground reindeer meat into the barrel, pump it up using a basic air pump and BOOM! - Instant Christmas.<br /><br />I'm sure this would work for other holidays . . .especially Grandparents day. Although you might get in a bit of trouble firing saplings at hippies during Arbor Day. Check out the video below to see how fun and easy shooting a guy in the face with tinsel can be.<br /><br /><embed src="http://blip.tv/play/AeH1b4LPag" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="640" height="390" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed> <br /><br /><a href="http://www.instructables.com/id/Christmas_Cannon/">H/T: Instructables.com</a>Joe The Bloggerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09398977419698743797noreply@blogger.com0