Toby Jones is Back

As much as I think Billy Mays might be the ultimate pitchman, Toby Jones is certainly giving him a run for his money.

You might remember Toby from a prior post, Jones Big Ass Truck Rental & Storage.

Now he's got a new business venture; Jones Good Ass BBQ & Foot Massage, where he'll fry parts of a chicken you didn't even know were fryable.


You can still give him a call or find him on "them world-wide internets."

I'm going to go on down there and get a slice of some dinosaur.

Megan Joy: Bad singer, worse chicken

In honor of Megan Joy's ca-cawing departure from American Idol this week. I thought you'd enjoy this montage from Arrested Development of various interpretations of a chicken.

Arrested Development- Chicken Dance

How to impress people with your dinosaur killing skills

I don't hunt, but if I did, I'm pretty sure I would only hunt Velociraptors. Fortunately, I don't have to go through the whole process of getting a permit, hiring a tracker, hiding in the woods, masking my scent with Raptor Musk (which stings the nostrils worse than Sex Panther), engaging in a life-and-death battle, cleaning my kill and mounting it's head on my wall.

For only $521 (as of 9pm Wednesday) I can streamline the whole process and get this full-size raptor head on ebay. I don't really know how it was acquired but apparently it was killed legally in Jurassic Park.

Worth a thousand words

Sometimes we just need to look at a picture that is so far from making sense in order to make sense of our own lives. With that, I give you my new favorite site: Picture is Unrelated, where you can find gems like the ones below. The fact that there's no context for any of the pictures on the site makes it that much better.

They are always looking for submissions, so if you come across a picture where the only possible reaction is WTF?, then by all means email it to them.

Best bowling shot ever

You've got to watch this amazing bowling shot. I'm not sure what the announcers are saying, but they're obviously impressed as well,

We dig evolution...more than Turkey

I think that, as Americans, we should pick one country and try to be better than them at everything we do. For me, that country is Turkey.

When it comes to sports, we're in pretty good shape. Do a quick Google Search for Turkish Sports Legends and you won't find too much (unless you consider arm wrestling a sport)

So needless to say, I was pretty excited to see this graph ranking the public acceptance of evolution in 35 countries and the only country we beat was Turkey.



Look out Cyprus...we're coming after you next!

Man's New Best Friend

I remember watching The Empire Strikes Back as a child and wondering what kind of pets AT-ATs would be.

Thanks to these great photos from NickIsConfused we can see how precious the little guys are. Some days I wish I had an AT-AT, if for no other reason than to silence those yapping terriers that walk by my window every morning.

This definitely wouldn't work in Jersey

Along with the right to carry guns in public, I feel like it's our right as Americans to swear in public. However, there's a movement afoot to keep those of us who like to impress their friends with their spot-on Gordon Ramsey impersonation down.

15-year-old McKay Hatch of Pasadena thought he was on to such a good thing when he started the No Cussing Club at his high school that he's now taking it up a notch. He successfully lobbied the LA County Board of Supervisors to issue a proclamation officially making the first week in March No Cussing Week.

So if you see someone wearing on of the No Cussing Club's gaudy orange t-shirts or carrying one of their How Many Hugs Do You Need cards in their wallets, be sure not to ask them how much they spent on that f#@%*n c#*p.

I think I want pizza...

So it's been a while since I've posted any bizarre Japanese videos, but this one just seemed to good to pass up.

I guess it's a commercial for pizza, but I'm not entirely sure. After watching it I had the same reaction as Homer Simpson after he watched the Mr. Sparkle commercial.

Please let them play Bon Jovi tonight...

It's only February, but I think we've found an early favorite for this year's best viral video. Check out this Celtics fan dancing to Livin' on a Prayer.





Can you imagine the anticipation that must grip this guy waiting for them to play the one song that he's worked so hard to bust a routine to?

The Joe The Blogger Investigation Unit has been hard at work trying to find out some details about the dancer. JTBIU has found out that his name is Jeremy Fry, and has a serious thing for Bon Jovi and attention from crowds.

Personally, I'd avoid inviting him to your next karaoke jam or 80s party.

How many calories are in a Turbaconuken?

More importantly, what is a Turbaconuken?


It's a chicken, inside of a duck, inside of a turkey, with the whole thing wrapped in bacon. This is just one of the many disturbing, yet somewhat appetizing dishes featured on thisiswhyyourefat.com.

Looking at some of these things is like looking at a deep-fried chocolate-coated train wreck. It's awful and disturbing, yet impossible to look away.

This one might be my favorite, it's a McNuggetini: A McDonald’s chocolate milkshake with vanilla vodka, rimmed with BBQ sauce and garnished with a chicken McNugget.

What's more refreshing than cow urine?

Apparently to scientists in India, nothing.

In a country that has boycotted Coke and Pepsi since 1984, their new take on a refreshing summer beverage involves moving forward with a drink made from cow urine and herbs.

"Don't worry, it won't smell like urine and will be tasty too," said project leader Om Prakash. "It's going to be very healthy. It won't be like carbonated drinks and would be devoid of any toxins."

I'm glad their addressing this, because if there's one single drawback to urine-based drinks, it's got to be the smell.

Somewhere, executives from Sunny D (formerly known as Sunny Delight) must be thrilled to know that somebody has finally made something more disgusting than the swill they've been pushing on kids for years.

The not-so great escape

So say you're a prisoner looking to make a quick escape, but you're chained to another guy. I think the one thing you really need to coordinate is how you're going to avoid lamp posts. Needless to say, these two hapless New Zealand cons did not.



Those poles can really sneak up on you.

Caution: Raptors ahead

First off, I apologize for the lack of posts over the past month. Between vacation, the snow, earthquakes and my real job it's been tough. But I'm back and I promise to post more regularly.

So my favorite new trend is people hacking into electronic road signs. The latest incident came this week in Indiana, where someone changed an electronic road sign to read: Raptors Ahead: Caution.

Apparently not everyone realized this was a prank, including a few clueless motorists.

"It's kind of crazy. I'm totally confused," said one motorist. "I'm kind of expecting … dinosaurs to run down the road, or something."
Another puzzled motorist said, "Which raptors?" before adding that he hadn't seen the sign.

This comes less than a week after someone hacked into electronic road signs in Texas to warn about Zombies.

I'm certainly not endorsing the practice of hacking into road signs, but I think an award should be given for the most creative hacked sign.

Are your Facebook friends really worth a Whopper?

So Burger King is asking a tough question.

Which would you rather have, your Facebook friends or a free Whopper?

With their new Whopper Sacrifice app, all you have to do is delete 10 of your friends from Facebook and you get a free Whopper. Unfortunately it only works once, but the hilarity that's sure to ensue when you told them you deleted them just to get a Whopper will be well worth it.

I would sell all my friends to Chinese organ thieves for a lifetime supply of In-N-Out Burgers, but I've already sent them cards letting them know that.

Old People News

It's news for old people by old people. I never knew peroxide had so many uses.



This kind of reminds me of those public access shows that used to be on local cable. I used to love how people would call up just to swear at the guys on Jets Roundtable.