Friday, January 9, 2009

Are your Facebook friends really worth a Whopper?

So Burger King is asking a tough question.

Which would you rather have, your Facebook friends or a free Whopper?

With their new Whopper Sacrifice app, all you have to do is delete 10 of your friends from Facebook and you get a free Whopper. Unfortunately it only works once, but the hilarity that's sure to ensue when you told them you deleted them just to get a Whopper will be well worth it.

I would sell all my friends to Chinese organ thieves for a lifetime supply of In-N-Out Burgers, but I've already sent them cards letting them know that.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Old People News

It's news for old people by old people. I never knew peroxide had so many uses.

This kind of reminds me of those public access shows that used to be on local cable. I used to love how people would call up just to swear at the guys on Jets Roundtable.

The practical and fun Japanese jetpack

Found this great video from Japan of a guy trying out a water-powered jetpack. There's not much scientific value to it, but it's still fun to watch a guy get tossed 100 feet into a lake.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Ridin' that train...

What better way to spend a cold Saturday in New York City than by riding the subways sans-pants.

It's hard to believe, but it's almost time for this year's No Pants Subway Ride. The event, put on by Improv Everywhere, has grown since 2002 from seven participants to almost 1,000 last year. It's also expanded across the country to cities like Boston, Baltimore, Chicago, San Francisco (surprise) and Washington D.C.

This year's event is taking place on January 10, and you can see all of the details here. There are surprising lengthy instructions, including what you should do once you board the trains:

Sit in the car as you normally would. Read a magazine or whatever you would normally do. Your team leader will have already divided you into smaller groups, assigning your group a specific stop where you will depants. Sit near your group.

As soon as the doors shut at the stop before yours, stand up and take your pants off and put them in your backpack. If you’d like to use a briefcase, purse, grocery bag, or whatever instead of a backpack that’s fine too. You are responsible for your own pants and they should be with you at all times. If anyone asks you why you’ve removed your pants, tell them that they were “getting uncomfortable” (or something along those lines.)

If you are planning on of luck. Try not to catch Syphilus.

Monday, January 5, 2009

You are not invited to my party

David Thorne, famous for the in lieu of payment, please accept this spider emails I wrote about in November is at it again. He received the note below in his mailbox regarding a party that his neighbor was having, but apparently was not invited.

The problem I have with the note is not that he was having a party and didn't invite me, it was that he selected a vibrant background of balloons, effectively stating that his party was going to be vibrant and possibly have balloons and that I couldn't come.

If I was writing a note to my neighbours saying that I was going to have a party but none of them could come, I would not add photos of ecstasy tablets, beer and gratuitous shots of Lucius going down on men to show them what they are missing out on, I would make it clean and simple, possibly even sombre, so they didn't think 'you prick'.

So he initiated another hilarious chain of emails with his neighbor, which you can read here.

One of the highlights is him asking to borrow his neighbor's car and mentioned that he will be bringing along his "quite violent" friend Simon, commenting that "sometimes I am afraid to even be in the same room as him."

As his new neighbor – whose name is given as Matthew Smythe – became increasingly confused and irate, Mr Thorne then announced his new plan to come as a "ninja", making his arrival through a window.

"I think it would be really good if you dressed as a ninja as well and we could perform a martial arts display for the other guests. I have real swords and will bring them," he wrote.

"If you need help with your costume let me know, I have made mine by wrapping a black T-shirt around my face with a hooded jacket and cut finger holes in black socks for the gloves. I do not have any black pants so will spray paint my legs on the night."

Mr Smythe responded: "You are not coming to my house warming and you are not bringing any of your friends. What the ---- is wrong with you???"